When Not To Breastfeed
Not to breastfeed: a failure?
In coffee meetings, yoga classes or workshop's moms-babies, it is easy to spot. Who? Moms which feel guilty because they could not breastfeed. It could not breastfeed at all or had to stop before the date it was fixed because, yes, breastfeeding has become a challenge. This is the most that would nurse only possible and will do so as long as potential. Can we blame the women? That was the message hammered by the government for years. Breastfeeding is what is best for the child. And what mother would derogate from the total well-being of her child? So no matter what, even if it is difficult, even if the baby is not growing enough, even if the hours of feeding back at a frenetic pace, even if the baby is in almost 20 hours on 24, although obstructions, cracks and crevices make the experience painful, even if all the women persevere.
This is the message that everyone repeats it. However, one day, out of nerves, strength and energy or simply because they realize that this situation is detrimental to their physical and emotional health, some decide to stop. Conversely, the minute they make this decision, a heavy feeling of failure, coupled with a crushing sense of guilt, seizes them. Why? They feel they fail in their primary role of mom. They label as a bad mother, convinced of being completely, not having been able to breastfeed as she wanted.
"In our coffee meetings or our workshops, they fast notice. In fact, they feel compelled to say at the outset, and quickly they do not breastfeed their child while nobody asked. This shows that there is such a social judgment they feel they need to justify, "says Gaetane Tremblay, CEO of Receivables Quebec Canada.
Dr. Jack Newman, an eminent specialist breastfeeding was questioned at length about the guilt surrounding breastfeeding and non-breastfeeding. In a document entitled Breasfeeding and Guilt, he wondered what the women feel more guilty "no women who have made an informed choice before opting for the bottle. Rather, it is those who wanted to breastfeed, who tried, but failed. In fact, to prevent the criminalization of women could not breastfeed, it is not to avoid promoting breastfeeding should be promoted, but coupled with quality support combining knowledge and expertise. This is not what happens in most countries in North America or Europe. '
"The societal message that emphasizes the benefits of breastfeeding, and that it is best for the baby, everyone understood. He was so hammered that women have come to feel guilty if they depart. They feel that because they do not breastfeed their child, they will not be able to play the role of mom THEIR properly. For them, the baby's life is just beginning, and already they failed to what it takes. This is terrible! "Says Tremblay Gaetane.
Being a mother: is it a performance?
Mothers are over-informed 2000s.
Right side?
Not always.
As being riddled with information, they become anxious. They do not entitle trials or errors women "come" in the spirit of motherhood with a performance. Normal for them, they are accustomed to perform from school to work, accustomed to juggle objectives and perform blows of results; they are "programmed" so their pregnancy and motherhood. They will be prenatal yoga (and postnatal), give birth naturally, suck, use cloth diapers, will all purees, will train, will not every child watching TV, etc..... The list is long. Pressure is high. "You hear women say" I missed my birth "or" my Breastfeeding is a failure ", even before a baby in great shape. In fact, as soon as their pregnancy is not going exactly as they would like, mothers blame themselves and experience a real sense of failure, "said Tremblay Gaetane. Undermining their self-esteem and blackens her, wrongly, the image they have of themselves as mothers.
The problem is not being able to breastfeed or want to stop the problem is that breastfeeding is often - with childbirth - the first "test" Mom. The initial thing you want to succeed. However, we do not remember sometimes mothers having a child is an exercise in letting go daily. A path littered with trials, errors, restarts, hesitations, missteps, progress, changes, etc..... It is useless to have the best intentions in the world, want to do everything as in books and in the direction advocated numerous studies, have a baby, it is the unknown. You never know in advance how you will react, how will our baby, day by day how we live our new role as mom, etc.?
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